Reflection

2017 was a very interesting year for our family. I feel like in a lot of ways it was a really good year. We set a lot of goals for ourselves and we accomplished almost all of them. We paid off our house and became completely debt free! Tyler received the Melchizedek Priesthood and his patriarchal blessing and we both gained stronger testimonies. We made the decision and started preparing to have our family sealed in the temple. We went on the funnest and longest family vacation to Disneyland and San Diego and had so much fun! The perfect job for Tyler came out of nowhere and allows him more time at home and less stress. Our kids are growing and learning and becoming outstanding kids. They are kind and helpful and think of others. They are fighting and teasing and testing our patience like all kids should. And they make us proud each and every day. But most importantly, we laughed a lot this year and became stronger as a couple and as a family.

But we struggled a lot this year too. My relationship with my brothers and my parents is not as strong as it used to be. I feel like Tyler and I fought the good fight with my family and really tried to do what was best for everyone, but somehow we became the bad people and the outcasts. I look at other families around me and yearn for the support and fun that they have together and wish that was the case with my family. I watched Anna struggle with the loss of her baby, Desi and Andrew with the loos of his wife Mary and it broke my heart. It made me so sad, yet so grateful for my family and our health and it made me realize how fragile life really is.

Looking ahead at 2018, I have so much excitement and enthusiasm for this year. I know it will be a great year because I will wake up everyday and do my best to make it a great day. I have set a goal to do things this year that are healthy: physically healthy, emotionally healthy, mentally healthy, and spiritually healthy. I want to be a better person by being more giving and more compassionate. I want to be more positive and find the good in others. Mary's life and ultimately her death really impacted me and I want to live each day without regrets and truly live. These all sound like cliche statements, but I truly believe them.

We have a lot of goals again for our family. We hope to get sealed as a family in the Spring and I am looking so forward to that day when we will enter the temple together. We are excited to learn and grow as a family as we experience the ups and downs of life. I know that the only way to enjoy the good times in life is to endure the difficult times. I know the difficult times are where we grow the most and where we learn. I really learned a lot in 2017 and I am ready to learn a lot more in 2018.

The Week After...

Yep, this is pretty much how we felt this year. We had a very relaxing post Christmas week. Sadly, we had to go to Mary's funeral, but we were also able to do some fun family traditions. Tyler was able to take a few days off and we got all of our decorations put away, went on a date, and went to Temple Square. We realized last year the only time to go to Temple Square is to go after Christmas when it is slightly less crowded.

We started off our night with dinner at The Brick Oven.

 And here's proof that I go on these fun family adventures too, even though I generally don't make it into any of the pictures unless I take a selfie. Thanks to Tyler for recognizing this and snapped this random and awkward picture of me.

 Oh look, here I am in another picture.

 Do you know who sometimes doesn't end up in pictures? Brynnli. Because she throws a lot of temper tantrums and refuses to pose like I ask her to. Just give her a few years and Brynnli will be a professional poser like these two. See? Proof that they do like each other.

 The temple is so pretty this time of year.

 The only picture you get of our entire family this season is this selfie we took.

New Years Eve was relaxing and very low key this year. We had steak dinner at home and then had apple cider in our fancy glasses.

 Thanks to Netflix we counted down to the New Year at 8:00

 And sent the kids to bed

Happy New Year! We are so excited for the many exciting things we have planned for this year!

Disheartening

I'm not going to lie. This has been a very rough December for our family. At the beginning of the month my brother Darren ended up in the hospital in an alcohol induced coma. Our whole life got turned upside down as we have been dealing with Darren. Since the kids couldn't stay at their apartment alone, and it was questionable if Darren was capable of taking care of his kids after he was home from the hospital, Hannah stayed at our house for a few weeks. It seemed like everyday was a new challenge, a locked door, a struggle to be happy. Darren is out of the hospital now, but unfortunately he has not changed, nor taken accountability for his actions. It is disheartening to realize he will probably be in the same situation again in a matter of time.

Hannah stayed with us for about 3 weeks and just a few days before Christmas she decided to go stay with her dad. Tyler and I felt heartbroken as she walked out the door because we knew she would not  be back to say with us and all of her goals she expressed to us for her future probably wouldn't be accomplished. I truly hope Darren can turn his life around, and Hannah will graduate early from high school and accomplish all her goals, and that our family will not be in this situation again with DCFS, but only time will tell. In the meantime I will strive to find joy in life and realize how many blessings our little family of 5 has been given.

Unfortunately, our hearts were broken again when we got a phone call letting us know that my cousin Andrew's wife Mary had suffered a brain aneurysm and ultimately passed away on December 17.  Mary and Andrew had one of those marriages that people admired; I know I did. They were so perfect together and had such a cute family. I didn't know Mary all that well, but she was the most genuine person and really seemed interested in what you had to say; she made you feel important when you talked to her. Mary leaves behind Andrew, a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 8 week old, just a few days before Christmas. My mind just cannot comprehend it and my heart breaks for their family.

I truly admire Andrew's strength during all of this. I copied his Facebook posts because he has such a meaningful way of understanding this tragedy.

Mary's funeral was one of the saddest and best funerals I have ever attended. She had so many people there to support her and her family, and the spirit was strong throughout. I left her funeral, surprisingly, feeling uplifted and wanting to be more like her. She truly emulated Christ in all aspects of her life and she made people around her feel special. That's the kind of person I want to be and the person I will strive to be more like this coming year. 

I don't know why some people leave this earth and their families behind when they still have so much to give and so much good to offer the world. And why others who wreck havoc on their lives and affect others' lives seem to go on untouched, but I do know that Heavenly Father knows more than I do and he has a plan for all of us. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of the gospel and the plan of salvation. I know we will be reunited with our families again someday. I have a wonderful husband, three adorable and crazy kids, and a whole lot to be grateful for. Mary's death reinforced to me how grateful I am for the simple things in life and how I need to cherish each day and have no regrets because you never know when your life could be turned upside down. 

Christmas Eve and Day

The day we look forward to all year long is finally here! Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at our house are kind of a big deal. We have about 3-4 family parties to go to in a 24 hour period, and the kids obviously get spoiled with way too many presents. We love being together as a family and celebrating the birth of Jesus. Here's a few highlights from our favorite two days of the year: 

Kitty the Elf brought us one last treat and a cute note. He reminded the kids that he watches them all year long, so they better be good. 

 Christmas Eve was on Sunday this year, and I really enjoyed going to church to make the day feel even more spiritual. I think it is important that we celebrate the real reason for the day and remember the birth of Jesus Christ so that the day doesn't get overshadowed in all the commercialized celebration. Plus, don't our kids look absolutely adorable dressed up for church?

After church we got ready to head to our first of many parties over the next two days. 

 We set out milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer.

 Brynnli stole a cookie and Caden pretty much freaked out at her because "those were Santa's cookies!!"

 Kitty the Elf always lets the kids have one hug before he leaves

 We spent Christmas Eve at Terry and Craig's house this year. The kids had their own kid table.

 After dinner we had our talent show. Makayla and Caden sang songs, Colton read a poem, Carson played the recorder, and Tyler played the accordion while everyone sang along.

 Then we had another stressful year of the $5 game. I almost think we should ban that game for a few more years until the younger kids can understand the concept of the game and not have meltdowns when someone gets a gift they want. We also had our gift exchange. Makayla got a barbie car, Caden got a remote control (that ended up being his favorite gift of everything he got over the next two days) and Brynnli got play food. Tyler and I got a refillable popcorn bucket and drink bucket for our many movie dates we have planned this year.

After a few hours, we all felt like Colton and were ready to get home.

 The next morning the kids kind of slept in, but they were so excited to go down stairs and see what Santa brought them. I love our stair picture every year.

 The kids must have been wonderful kids this year because Santa brought them so many toys and fun surprises!

 And they're off...

 Brynnli got a Doc McStuffins toy cart, a Minnie mouse table with a tea set, Trolls dolls, and more play food.

 Makayla got an American Girl doll that looks just like her (she later named her doll Makenna), a hospital Lego set, Shopkins, outfits for her doll, and a scooter.

 Caden got a HUGE Lego set that had all of the ninjas and 2300 pieces! A car and mat set, superhero books, a scooter, and some games.

 My favorite part of the morning might have been when Brynnli asked Tyler if he would have a tea party with her. They had the cutest conversation about tea and crumpets, and now Brynnli talks in a old lady British accent!

 Trust Makayla to organize all of her gifts. She must take after me.

 Caden got buried in all 15 packages of his Lego set.

 After our fun morning we were off to party #2 with the Evanses.

 I didn't take that many pictures here, but we did snap this cute one of the four generations of William Evans.

 Then we went to party #3 at my parents house. This was kind of a different party this year compared to years past. Darren is really upset with our family and refused to come. I think he is being immature and selfish, but what can you do? Ryan and Sarah and the boys were there, but they had just got home from a stressful vacation and an almost 24 hour flight delay, so they were exhausted and kind of ornery. I felt bad for my parents because they had gone through so much work to get ready for the party, and no one really appreciated it except for me and Tyler and our kids. It was super quiet and awkward, and at one point during dinner I heard Caden say to Makayla, "how come it is so quiet here?" After dinner we opened presents where Makayla got more Barbies, Caden got more Legos and Brynnli had a meltdown (her meltdown only lasted a few minutes before she was happy with her baby dolls)

Even though we had already been to three parties, and our kids were pretty exhausted, we really wanted to end the night on a high note, so we stopped by Tammy's for party #4. We didn't take any pictures here, but we had a great time talking with family and the kids had a blast playing with their cousins. 

I really enjoyed this Christmas season, despite it being a little more stressful and unusual for our family. The thing I think meant the most to us this year was that we tried to follow the Light the World campaign where you spend each day leading up to Christmas doing something each day that helps you to be more like Christ. Each morning we would read the scripture that went along with the theme for that day and we would talk with the kids about how they could be more like Christ and implement the suggestion. Then at the end of the night we would put the ornament on our paper tree. We weren't perfect and we missed a few days along the way, but when we did follow the suggestion, we felt the spirit more that day. It was fun to hear how the kids tried to think of and help others. I especially appreciated the chance to think about others more this season and try to help those in need. I really felt like we spent more of Christmas thinking of others this year instead of what presents we needed to buy or how much money we needed to spend. I am truly grateful for my Savior and for the chance to think of his birth and life and how we can strive everyday to be more like him.