Hindsight is 2020

 

What a weird year this has been. When I think back to January, it is hard to think of life before Corona, a life where we didn't know what social distancing meant, where we didn't have to wear masks everywhere we go, a year where so many things were changed or cancelled. I think back to February when Tyler and I went on a overnight date and how we talked at dinner about how we knew this would probably be our last "vacation" for a while. I think back to March when we experienced the scare of an earthquake, and the empty store shelves, and the fear we all felt over a virus that was microscopic, but took down the entire world. I think back to when I cried when I found out the kids were not going back to school. I didn't cry because I didn't want our kids home, but because our whole life was turned upside down, and I couldn't take one more thing changing. I think back to April when we had to cancel Caden's birthday plans and I had to hold back tears when he asked why we weren't able to have a friend or family party. I think back to April where Makayla couldn't compete in her first year on the cheer team. I think back to May when Brynnli had to graduate from Little Learners, sitting not with her classmates, but by herself in the basement.  I think back to May and the chaos that ensued in our world and the division we all felt as people rioted and turned against the police. I think back to the first day of school when all the kids were wearing masks as they walked into school and the eerie feeling I felt because it just didn't seem right to be covering their faces. I think back to August when my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and the nights I cried silently in bed as I mourned the loss of the mom I knew and the reality of her future. I think back to the worried pit in my stomach when we rushed Brynnli to the hospital, thinking she was having a stroke. I think of the chaos and the division of our country over the election and the hatred that some people feel towards others who don't share their same opinion. I think of Thanksgiving celebrating with just our family of 5 around our kitchen table, instead of crammed in Tammy's full house. I think back to the worry I felt when my parents got Corona, when I called my dad and he told me he was so weak he couldn't get out of bed. I think back to Christmas and the many traditions that got cancelled. 

But I also think back to March when Tyler started working from home and how I get to come down to his office everyday and talk to him, or sneak off for a lunch date, or how Brynnli gets to poke her head into his basement office and ask if he's on a conference call with Ryan. I think back to April when we got to celebrate Easter with our family of 5 eating turkey dinner around the table. I think back to May and being able to watch our kids still be able to learn and see their teachers and classmates because of technology. I think back to August when Tyler got to go on a fishing trip with my dad and brothers and we went to Mesquite where the kids swam for hours. I think back to September when Brynnli came running out of school on her first day of Kindergarten and told me that she had the best day. I think back to October when we went on a road trip to see our amazing world, where we laughed until we were crying, and where our kids played together as best friends. I think back to November when we sat around the table eating our prime rib Thanksgiving dinner and went around telling everything we were grateful for. I think back to Christmas morning where the magic of Christmas was so strong.  I think back to the many nights having popcorn and movie nights, summer nights watching the kids play night games, and the extra long weekends spent exploring The Land. I think back to a year where we grew closer as a family, where we learned to appreciate the simple life, where we found peace in some of the scariest times. I think back to a year where we were taught what is really important in life, where we celebrated quiet victories and goals, where we learned more about our strengths. I think of a year where my Heavenly Father showed me how abundant His blessings are in a year He might have seemed absent. I think of a year that we all grew a little stronger in preparation for the trials ahead. Maybe this isn't the year we got everything we wanted, but this is the year we appreciated everything we have.